Can I Just Stay Here?

I can’t believe the day has finally come. Not really, though. It is tomorrow but I just can’t believe the day is tomorrow—the day I move to Jakarta. No, I’m not really happy about the move, to be honest. There is a little excitement, but overall, I just feel unhappy with the situation. I wish that I didn’t have to go. I hope I didn’t have to move to Jakarta. I wish I didn’t have to live there. 

My partner knows how much I hate the plan–the situation but told me that there will be exciting things awaiting. They asked about what can make me feel better about the situation and I said, “Food.” I’m really grateful to have a foodie partner whom I can embark on gastronomic journeys with, and these future adventures might help distract my attention from the negative or bad things related to the new situation but still, I know the emotions that are present right now and I cannot deny them. Moving to Jakarta is a big deal and it can change my life. 

I met my gamer friends this afternoon. It wasn’t a goodbye and I didn’t want to say goodbye to them. I told them that I would go home once in a while, probably once or twice a month and when I am in Bandung, I will definitely let them know so we can play some games together. We had the last gaming session before I am leaving tomorrow and no, it’s not our last session. There will be more gaming sessions with them in the future. We had dinner together and I got a gift from them. 

Now I can’t sleep, thinking about what will happen tomorrow. I don’t want to imagine myself being lonely in my new place but such a picture has come to my mind and I hate it.